Why did God forsake us? Because we are Idjits
by TheDragonmasterTLH
Summary: This is a weird one, but you're used to that right? This involves the 3 guys encountering the Creator, who kicked off the Big Bang because he was bored and he was the closest thing to God. After a couple million years of nothing and people doing evil things in his name he decides to fix up the human's mess. Sam and Dean catch wind of him and chaos ensues.
1. Chapter 1, It All Kicks Off

**Hey Guys! This is my first fanfic, so tell me how to improve. This Supernatural fanfic takes place in Season 9, after Dean has the Mark of Cain. Spoilers ahead for Season 4 onwards.**

 _Seattle, Washington_

The young couple walked towards the church, hand in hand. As soon as they entered, they heard the preacher,

"All who stray from the teachings of the Good Book shall burn in Hell!"

Then, the door flew off of its hinges rocketing past the church congregation. A man, with eyes glowing the color of the sea, stepped forward, The preacher, scared out of his wits, said fearfully,

" Wh-who are you?"

"I am the first; I saw the Big Bang, witnessed evolution in motion, watched you humans discover fire, gunpowder, steam power, flight, and harness the power of the atom. You humans have done so many great things and yet, so many horrible things done in my name."

"Wh-what is your name?"

"I am what you call…God."

"What do you-"

"Silence."

The man held up his hand, growing ever brighter. And, with a flash of light, there was silence.

 **So, tell me what** **you think! I have a basic idea where the story will go, but I will definitely take suggestions.** **Remember, I'm not trying to offend anyone, just wanting to tell what I think is cool story. I will try to update as much as possible.**


	2. Chapter 2, Hey, Sammy, Look at This!

**Hey guys! I'm back again. These first two or three chapters will go up pretty quick, but don't expect that the entire time. I do have school and other stuff. By the way, this will be specifically after the episode, Blade Runners. Anyhow, let's get started with Chapter 2!**

"Hey Sammy!"

Dean's booming voice echoed all through the bunker. I mumbled back,

"What?"

"Something weird happened in Seattle." He replied.

"Our kind of weird or?"

"Oh trust me; it's our kind of weird."

As I walked into the room, I saw something no one (except Cas) should see, Dean, wearing only underwear and that old bathrobe he insisted on keeping.

"Come on man! Put some clothes on." "No one wants to see that." I mumbled after telling Dean off.

"Huh?" "Nothing."

"Anyways," he continued on, ignoring my previous protests, "This church, in Seattle, entire congregation killed. Preacher and all."

"So what? Could have been a hate crime."

"Except, they were all in perfect health, excluding being dead and all."

"Was it another Kool-Aid thing?"

"No police report to the public yet, at least on all that stuff."

"Dean," I asked "Are you sure you're up for this?"

"What do you mean?"

"All this Mark of Cain stuff?"

"I'm fine alright!" he shouted at me.

"Alright, no need to get all huffy."

"Pack up your stuff; we're going to the Rain State."

Dean was grinning harder then he should have at his terrible joke. As I was grabbing my things, I couldn't help but worry about Dean. He was my brother, after all.

"Sammy, let's go!"

"Coming!"

I shook, my head, clearing it of worries, for now.

 **I know these chapters are a little short, but I want each chapter to represent a scene, like it would be on the show. Hope you enjoy, Theo out.**


	3. Chapter 3, Back in Black

**Hey Guys! Chapter Three is here! In this chapter Sam and Dean are surprised by someone familiar and they stumble on something _big_. Atmospheric music is a must. **

"Ahh, Seattle. Don't you just love the constant rain and dreariness Sam?"

"Yeah, no kidding." I sarcastically replied.

As Sam and Dean get out of the car, unbeknownst to them, music starts playing.

 _Black in black theme starts playing_

 _Back in black_

 _I hit the sack_

 _I've been to long, I'm glad to be back_

"Hello, boys."

Both I and Dean jumped a mile.

"Son of bitch! Jesus, Crowley, you can't do that!"

 _Music fades._

Dean was always more easily shocked.

"But I just did." Crowley said in a pompous tone as he strolled around us.

"What are you doing in the City of Rain and Coffee, Moose?"

"We _**were**_ working a case."

"Yeah, we just arrived."

Dean chimed in as he recovered from Crowley's… unorthodox entrance.

"Oooooo," Crowley crooned, "What happened, did a week go by without rain?"

"Crowley, stop making bad Seattle jokes, they're getting old." Dean snapped.

"Fine." He shrugged, almost looking hurt.

"Anyway, back to business Sam."

Dean turned to me, but before he could go on, Crowley interrupted as we walked towards the church where the incident occurred .

"I'll come along, pretend to be your FBI supervisor, alright?"

As Dean whirled around to tell Crowley where he could stick it, I grabbed his arm, and said, under my breath,

"Dean, it isn't worth trying, he's too stubborn."

"Damn right."

Crowley said as he leaned in between us, and before Dean could get mad at him again, he interrupted,

"Let's go boys! We have a case to solve."

"Who are you? "

"Agents Eccelston and Tennant." As I showed the officer my badge, I internally cursed myself for telling Dean about Doctor Who.

"What about the other guy?"

"Uh-"

Crowley butts in, showing the officer a badge, I suspect he may not have had before this.

"Agent Johnson." I'm glad Crowley isn't stupid enough to give him a complicated name.

"Aright then, my forensics team will show Eccelston and Johnson around, Tennant, I'll give you the full report."

I still can't believe Dean convinced me that _**those**_ should be our names.

"So, you said no visible causes of death? Could this be another Kool-Aid thing?"

"That's what I thought at first too, but no drinks, pill bottles, anything like that. Also, when has that ever happened to someone when they've been poisoned?"

He points to something that makes me wish Cas and Dean were next to me right now.

"The hell?"

 **Hate to leave it on a cliffhanger, but it would've happened in the show. So, Crowley is back. Also, all of the Seattle jokes, don't take them seriously. I used to live in Seattle, the rain jokes are true. Also, hope you guys are ready for quite a few familiar faces!**


	4. Chapter 4 What the Hell?

**Hey Guys! I know that Chapters 1, 2, and 3 came out in quick secession, but I wanted my ideas out there. This next chapter, at least, will be setting the stage for a very in-depth story (hopefully!).**

I, after almost 10 years of hunting things with Dean, had seen a lot of weird crap. But this, this took the cake.

"That's what I thought when we first saw it."

The officer's remark shook me out of my shocked daze.

"What could have caused that?" I thought out loud as I stared at the blacken wall, with silhouettes of everyone who had died, the blast radiating from the door.

The officer replied, "The only thing I've seen that could cause this is, well a nuclear bomb, but that wasn't it, we used Geiger counters, the forensics wanted to make sure."

I asked the question we almost always asked, only out of habit, no demon could cause this. "Um, did you smell any sulfur?"

"Nope, the only thing I smelled was a slight burnt smell, assuming it's the wall."

"Thank, you Officer…?" "Williams."

"Ok, here is my number if anything else happens,"

as I handed him my card as Dean gestured me over.

I walked over, curious what Dean thought of all this.

"Yeah?" "Sammy, you're seeing this, right?"

Before I could respond Crowley interrupted, again,

"Do you think we should contact Cas?"

Dean answered a little too quickly, "Definitely."

A few minutes after Dean called Cas; there was a knock on the motel door.

I got to the door, greeting the angel, "Hey Cas, how ya doin?"

"I'm doing just fine, thanks."

Cas was always so formal. I think Dean finds it cute.

"Hello, Dean. Hello, Crowley."

"Hey Cas."

"Hello Cassy-Boy."

"Please don't call me that Crowley."

I interrupted, before Crowley could really piss off Cas.

"So, get this Cas, a church's entire congregation is dead, no toxin, no blood."

I said as I handed him the report.

"Hmm, quite interesting." He mumbled as he read over the report.

"Yeah, no kidding."

"Did anyone know the priest? "

Crowley butted in saying,"I asked the police Chief, he said this is the guy to talk to."

Dean grabbed the paper and jokingly said, "Let's go meet the neighbors!" Crowley was a bad influence on him.

 **So, yeah! Cas is back! Please leave reviews if you want the story to go a certain direction.**


	5. Chapter 5, Everyone Notices the Scar

**Hey Guys! I'm back. This chapter will propel the boys and Crowley towards the new attraction! Hope you enjoy!**

We drove up to the house, which looked normal, nothing that jumped out at me at least. As Dean, Cas, Crowley and I exited the car, we heard the sounds of a familiar tune.

 _Highway to Hell theme plays_

 _Living easy,_

 _Loving free_

 _Season ticket on a one-way ride._

Before Cas could interrupt, Dean stopped him, obviously enjoying the music. What I found funny is that the only thing we knew about this person is he sang "Highway to Hell" pretty damn well.

 _Asking nothing, leave me be_

 _Taking everything in my stride_

 _Don't need a reason_

 _Don't need a-_

"Damn it!"

Whoever was playing had botched a note and was unhappy about it. Dean and I stepped forward. We saw a young, 20-something black haired man. As he looked up, the things that struck me most were his sea-green eyes and the scar that ran down his cheek. As he got up, he caught me staring.

"The scar, right?"

"Huh?"

"The scar is what everyone notices first."

As he said this Dean looked sheepishly at the ground and I suspected I wasn't the only to be infatuated at his scar. All of the sudden, he noticed Cas and Crowley coming around the corner.

"So, what can I do you for you gentlemen?"

Me, Dean and Crowley pulled out our badges like a synchronized unit. Cas however was a little slow on the draw, as he was still new to the whole hunting thing. As he saw our badges, his face fell.

"This is about what happened at the church right? I didn't know the current preacher as well as everyone thinks I did. I knew his predecessor better, but I knew him well enough. So, what do you want to know?"

"Um, well, did the preacher have any enemies, or did any of the congregation?" Dean asked.

"Nah. Look, guys, I would love to help, I really would, bit that's all I know."

"Well, give us a call if you need to."

After handing him my card, he nodded and went back to his guitar. As we headed back to the Impala, I heard that ever-recognizable tune.

 _Going down, party time_

 _My friends are gonna be there too_

 _I'm on the HIGHWAY TO HELL!_

 _On the HIGHWAY TO HELL!_

The music faded as we went down the street, but it never left my ear.

 _HIGHWAY TO HELL!_

 **Hope you enjoy! Let me know how to improve if you see fit.**


	6. Chapter 6, Bumpkis

**Hey Guys! I'm sorry that there is so little content, but I'm sick so this will be about it for a couple days. Sorry :(. Hope you enjoy anyway!**

As me and Dean entered the motel, I realized we hadn't asked the guy's name.

"Hey Dean, do you know the guy's name?"

He picked up the paper Officer Williams gave Crowley, and after glancing over it, responded.

"Says here… his name is Theodore Henry."

"Huh. Interesting name."

Cas interrupted, warning, "Shouldn't we be working? Or researching?"

Surprisingly, Crowley agreed with him. "I'll talk to some of…my experts on this sort of thing. I'll be back soon."

"Wait!" Before Dean could grab on to him and stop him, but he was gone. "Dammit!"

"He has experts?" Cas questioned as he, for once, used air quotes correctly.

"Doubtful!" I snorted.

"Well, let's start research!" Dean replied enthusiastically.

As I opened the computer and delved into the search engine, as Dean and Cas read, I had this nagging feeling we missed something. Something about Theodore…

All of the sudden, I fell out of my chair due to shock, as Crowley, bloodied and, bruised crashed down on the table with a resounding "Crash!"

"Bloody hell!"

The rest of the words Crowley used to describe his displeasure were not fit to bear repeating.

As I got up I asked, "Crowley what happened?" I wasn't worried, just curious.

"Apparently," he groaned through what sounded like a broken jaw, "Fredrick the werewolf does _**not**_ react well to threats."

"Who's- Ya know what, not gonna ask. So, we got bumpkis?"

"That's right Squirrel."

I stepped towards the two, saying, "You know, Crowley, no one likes your crap nicknames."

"Shove off, Moose."

"So, Dean is right? We have, as you put it, bumpkis?"

As silly as Cas sounded, he was right. "Yep."

What the hell were we going to do?

 **I'm sorry I'm sick and I wish I could get more out, but I feel really crappy. Hopefully by the weekend I will have recovered enough to get back on seclude.**


	7. An Update (NOT PART OF THE STORY)

**Hey Guys! This isn't a new chapter, just an update. I'm letting you guys know that I'm still sick and a new chapter isn't coming out until (at the earliest) Friday. I'm really sorry that I can't continue but I feel really crappy and just doing this is a strain. I'm really sorry again for people excited for the next chapter and if I'm lucky I can get it up on Friday. Sorry guys. :(**


	8. Chapter 8, Not Again

**Hey Guys! I'm still sick but I feel better, so this is the 7** **th** **chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

"So, Dean, what exited you?" I wondered.

"Uh, nothing, nothing, trust me."

I gave him, what Crowley had coined, my "bitch face". "Dean. Was it porn?"

"No." He answered _**way**_ to quickly, the best way to tell he was lying.

"Yeah, sure."

All, the sudden, Dean's phone rang and he snatched it off the table. "Hello, who is this?"

My face fell. An unrecognized number was almost never good.

"Yes, this is Agent Eccelston." He turned to me and mouthed "Officer Williams." I didn't realize he had got his name.

"Yeah, were all here." All of us waited in silence. Something garbled came out of the phone and his face fell. "Another one?" "Alright, be there soon."

Before I could ask Dean what was going on, he turned to me and stated, "Grocery store this time. One missing. Theodore."

Stunned, I barely managed to speak through my shock, "O-ok, me and Cas will hold down the fort, alright?"

He nodded, and then both he and Crowley walked out the door.

As they left, I turned to Cas who looked even more confused then I felt.

"Cas, do you have any idea what is going on?"

He scratched his head then said, 'No angel, even an archangel, could do this, let alone a demon. I, well, I don't know."

Based on the look on his face he didn't like the idea of being in the dark. I felt for him.

Dean's ringtone, Eye of the Tiger started to play. Before that god-awful song could continue, I grabbed my phone and answered.

"Sammy?" "Yeah, I'm here." "I'm-"Dean grunted in pain, as it sounded like Crowley had stepped on his foot. I chuckled before Dean heard me.

" _ **We're**_ here at the crime scene. Same as before, except, note was left on Theodore's guitar. Said, _Agents, if you're reading this something happened, go to my house, key in_ _green pot_ _. Don't let cat out._"

"We meet there?"

Dean sighed, fed up with whatever Crowley was doing (sounded like he was talking to squirrel?), and replied, "Yeah, bring the weapons."

As he hung up, I talked over to Cas, "Get your stuff, we're going to the kid's house."

 **Hope you enjoyed! I will try to get the next chapter up on Sunday. By the way, the reason Sam hates "Eye of the Tiger", is he's heard it so much he despises it. Leave reviews if you want to give feedback (or PM me, doesn't matter).**


	9. Chapter 9, Damn Cat

**Hey Guys! Sorry this took so long, I was still getting better. Hope you enjoy Dean's view!**

God, how Crowley annoyed me. Currently, he was screwing with the volume dial. And I liked Heat of the Moment to.

 _Now you fi-ND YOUR-self in '82._

I sighed. That was enough, so I slapped Crowley's hand away and glared. He pouted as we pulled in.

I got out, and greeted Sam "Hey, how ya doin?"

"Wha? Fine, fine."

He was never this distracted… hmm.

"Umm, Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I'm allergic to cats right?."

"Yeah- Oh. Ohh. Umm, Crowley, help me with this, OK?"

"Uh, let me think. I could, on one hand, possibly get scratched by a cat, or, wait out here while you and the angel do it for me." A moment passed. "That means no Moose."

"Screw you. Come on Cas, let's go catch a cat."

Cas and Sam enter, both looking worried, and Cas a bit confused. Crowley and I leaned against Baby. A few seconds later we hear their poor attempts at catching the thing.

"Cas get the cage!" "The cage?" "THAT CAGE DAMMIT IT'S SCRATCHING MY ARMS OFF!" "Oh, this cage."

Crowley started giggling, and before I could join him, I heard Sam again.

"Cas. Don't. Move." "Now, turn around _**slowly**_." "Pick up the cat." "Mrow." "Put him in the cage." A few seconds of silence later, then, "I zip it up now, correct?" "Yeah."

Cas and Sam walked through the door, both disheveled. Sam holding a note, and Cas holding the cat carrier.

"So, what did you find?"

"Note. Address."

"Hey, wow, that thing isn't going in my damn car."

Sam looked at me, with one of his few faces that I feared.

"Dean. It's going in the car. Got it?"

"Yeah, jeez." As we got in, Sam handed me the note.

"Old factory, out of town." Sam said. With that, I started the car as Cas shifted, obviously uncomfortable. I couldn't tell if it was the cat or the demon sitting next to him.


	10. Chapter 10, An Interesting Turn of Event

**Hey Guys! I'm sorry this took so long, I lost internet, then kept putting it off. Anyways, here it is!**

After the fiasco with that damn cat, not like Cas was a big help, we started towards the address Theo gave us. It was strangely cryptic, as all it said was,

 _Officers, if you're reading this, something bad happened. Go to this address: 1224 Oregon Tr. Bring guitar & cat._

According to Crowley, it was abandoned WW2 storehouse. Why did he want us to go there?

Dean interrupted my thoughts, saying "Hey Sammy, we're here."

The foreboding structure sent chills down my spine, until I heard the faint sound of music, incomprehensible at the distance.

Cas questioned, "Uh, am I the only one that hears that?" We answered in unison, "No."

Let's go then, shall we?" Crowley asked as he held the door open for us.

As we walked through, everything went to Hell. First, Crowley and Cas both vanished without warning, then we appeared on, on… On Doctor Sexy M.D. "Ga- Gabriel? Is that you?"

"Oh, that must have shocked you, I'm sorry." Then everything changed. We were in the warehouse, and Cas was in a circle of angel fire. Before I or Dean could say anything, I heard Crowley. He was strung up in chains, and in a devil's trap. Before he could say anymore, someone snapped their fingers, and a metal gag appeared over his mouth.

I looked towards our kidnapper, if you could say that, as Dean blurted out, "First Cain, now this guy." Despite Dean's confusing remark, our kidnapper's identity was shell-shocking. It was…Theo, but older.

Dean voiced my concern, "Theo? The guitar kid?" He responded, sarcastically "Thanks, Winchester."

"Wait-""I'll tell you how I know your names later. First, welcome. Seems Thing 1 and Thing 2 caught up with me, along with your fallen angel and former king."

Crowley did not like his choice of words, and made it obvious.

"So, boys, ready to talk business?"

 **Hope you enjoy! If you couldn't tell, this is switching back to Sam. I really am sorry about lack of content, and I'll make it up to you!**


	11. Chapter 11, Hello, God, it's Me, Castiel

**Hey Guys! Hope you are enjoying your weekend! This is the next chapter, from Cas's point of view. Hope you enjoy!**

The minute I entered the building, something very strange happened. I teleported, nothing new; except, this time, it was against my will. I reappeared in a circle of holy fire, never a pleasant thing to be around. The boys entered, and Theo, or whoever he was, met them.

"Theo? The guitar kid?" He turned saying, "Thanks, Winchester."

After a few more minutes of this, he said, "So, boys, ready to talk business?"

Before they could interject, his phone rang.

 _Ooga Chaka_

 _Ooga Ooga_

"Sorry, phone." This…man held up his finger as he retrieved his phone from the desk besides him. As he did, both Sam and Dean's mouth's sealed over. I gaped in shock, as whoever this was had emitted massive amounts of power as he did this.

As Dean and Sam, in their confusion, stumbled around, he responded. "Yeah. Uh-huh. No, no, it's fine. Yes, I'll see you soon to Peter. Bye."

He looked up, and then said as he waved his hand and the "covering" went away, "Sorry about that you two, it was important." As he put his phone down, he mumbled something like, "Damn long distance calls."

Dean, voicing what I figured both Sam and I thought, "Who the hell are you?"

"Three recurring names, John, don't ask, the Creator, and… God."

I said, barely over the shock, "Fa- Father?"

"No, angels are left-over energy form the Big Bang, caused by yours truly."

I was in shock. This, this couldn't be happening. "Wha-"

"Don't bother, I know you're confused, all you need to know is that, over the course of history and prehistory, I have influenced this world in many ways. Stepping in, you might say."

 _ **We switch to the Creator here, just letting you know.**_

"I," I stated as I pointed to myself, "interfered when I was needed. Development of language, founding of Rome, fall of Rome, Crusades, Revolutionary War, Napoleonic Wars, Civil War, World…" I stopped as… No. I wouldn't go there. Block it out. "World War 2, Vietnam, and, I tried to during 9/11, but, I couldn't. Had to happen."

The Dean one, was that his name? He responded, saying "You could've stopped that? And-"

"No, I couldn't have, just trust me on this. Anyways, I think you're having an, as you might state it, angel problem?"

 **Hope you liked this new chapter. Also, I really hope the switch wasn't too confusing, but I wanted to explore Cas's character, as well as the Creator. Any name suggestions for him to choose to use? Leave a review if so!**


	12. Chapter 12, He's Back, Baby

**Hey Guys! I'm so, so sorry about the massive lack of content. I've had a lot of school work and me being a huge procrastinator didn't help. I hope you won't kill me (yet). Enjoy!**

"So, you boys want help with that prick Metatron?" The Creator said as he leaned against the table.

Cas and Dean were speechless, so I piped up, saying, "Yeah, we wouldn't mind it."

"Alright, a few things have to happen first. 1, the demon, gone." He said as he snapped his fingers and Crowley disappeared, "and he is replaced with," another snap, and a man identical to Gabriel pooped up except he looked as if he had just parachuted into Normandy. Before the copy of Gabe could say a word, (The Creator? John?) exclaimed, "Oops," and the man was replaced with the Gabe we knew and loved.

"Lucifer? Cas? Winchesters? _John!?_ "

"Brother?" Cas said with urgency.

"Ahh, Gabe, you're back! I resurrected you so you can help me deal with a few annoyances, Metatron, Sam, and Dean."

"WHY ME?"

Before Gabe could get even more confused and pissed, John (I guess?) took him to the side. After a few seconds of incomprehensible muttering, he turned around, still pissed I might add, and said, "I'm only doing this because John promised me I never had to see you Winchesters again."

I was in shock, but before I could say a word John continued, "Then, three trials, with no risk of death. The first, both Sam and Dean help each other. The third and second will be independent ones for each of you. Kapeesh?"

I responded shakily, "Ye-yeah, that'll work."

"Alright, first trial!"

Dean, finally able to speak blurted out, "Wai-"

Then everything went black.

 **Hope you guys enjoy! Again, really sorry about the lack of content, that'll change soon.**


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